I'm a comedian and I write things. Some of those things appear here. I hope you like them.

 

I had an amazing time doing this awesome podcast. You ALL should listen to it.

tvguidancecounselor:

September 12-18, 1992.

Fall Preview Alert!

In this fast paced episode Ken and Alex discuss growing up as an Orthodox Jew, Ken’s lack of sports love and knowledge, Alex’s super power of remembering the line ups of every single episode of “Comic Strip Live” based solely on the date aired, the Red State Blu State Divide, Blossom, Rocky IV, Seinfeld, More Seinfeld, The Larry Sanders Show, Tom Rhodes’ hair styles, Baseball, what exactly a “Met” is, and the network’s support of failing genius.

How much do you love “True Detective”? Do you love it enough to see it mashed up with “Family Circus”? Well, do you?

How much do you love “True Detective”? Do you love it enough to see it mashed up with “Family Circus”? Well, do you?

Simon Amstell - The Wilbur

I’ll be opening this show for this very smart British human male.

Anonymous asked
Bro, do you even lift?

Only snacks. To my mouth.

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Guys, I did this story, which starts about 18:30 into the podcast, about a soldier I met at an airport and what he told me. I’m proud of it and think you’d like listening.

The Curious Case of the Missing Inauguration Bible

This was what happened on my New Year’s, and it was insane.

Anonymous asked
Who would you rather get twerked on by: Mr T., Roseanne or Sasha Baron Cohen (in the thong suit)?

Roseanne, no doubt. Roseanne is a genius. A comedy genius.

Why I Didn’t Get Into Northwestern

If you could write a letter to yourself at ten years old, what would you say?

                                 - Northwestern University College Application, 2009

Dear 10-year old me,

Things are going great. And I’d say this letter is a big part of it. 9/11 didn’t happen, because I told you about it here. Also, the Red Sox win the World Series! I know. It’s incredible, and the feeling that you get when they beat the Yankees will be, surely, one of the most incredible moments of our life. But I’ll get to that.

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